We'd been planning our next workshop on January 29 for months. My colleague and beloved friend, Helena Grant, and I had been talking with excitement about the theme "Reparenting of the inner child". We had even postponed the workshop from December to January after listening to our inner girls who needed more time. Come 2021, we were ready and prepared to offer it. And yet the universe wanted something else. Helena got ill with COVID-19 and uncertainty literally took over her life.
There's so many things generating uncertainty in this moment. Of course the pandemic, which has dropped in our lives like a bucket of ice water and has stayed in an attempt to freeze us. And at times, it did freeze us. How many days have I woken up not knowing what to do? How many plans have I had to change? How many fears have awakened and tried to block me?
Fortunately, Helena was able to find her ground in this process of fighting the illness with her family support, her conscious selfcare and healing plan, and with her full trust in the process of life. In this moment she is out of danger and progressing every day. Part of finding her ground has been to listen to her "no". Despite her excitment about coleading this workshop with me, her body was giving her signals that she needed more time to fully recover. How many times has she ignored these signals and has forced herself to "get the job done"?But not this time. She has done much personal work y has so much commitment to sharing it with the world to be able to continue feeding such incongruence. This time she has listened to her "no" and has decided to postpone the workshop with me.
What a gift, to herself and to me. Because not only it inspires me to listen and connect with my own internal signals, but because it brought up a new uncertainty which has facilitated deep reflexion. It allowed me to reflect what is it I feel when uncertainty arises, how my body reacts, how my mind responds, what signals come up and how I chose to listen to them, or not. It's also helped me reflect on the many layers of uncertainty in my life, and in the lives of everyone. The uncertainty of leaving everything behind and move back to Spain after many years in the US, just before the pandemic! The uncertainty of having to rethink all the plans because of an illness that has confined us all and which has shifted how the world works, how we live, and how we communicate. The uncertainty of how long this is gonna last and how it's gonna evolve, what is going to go back to what it was and what is not going to.
Well, thanks to this opportunity Helena Bueno, pues gracias a la oportunidad que me ha presentado gifted me with, I have listened to my inner signals regarding this immediate uncertainty about the workshop. I lit up some candles, I breathed and looked inside, I wrote and I asked for support. And in the place of a "no", I found a "yes". A "yes" to doing the workshop on my own this month on this very subject of uncertainty, which is so present in all of our lives.